First of all, if this does get posted on Facebook – I want you all to know that in China, I do not have access to Facebook. So – write me lovely emails instead to say hello!
Enshrouded in a layer of brown, the city of Beijing is a depressing place to be in. If there ever was a city that I could absolutely not live in – it’s this one. Where the sky starts and the smog ends is hard to figure out and the sun’s powerful rays are always diffused by the time they touch the earth. There is a constant layer that surrounds the city – and it’s not fog.
The architecture and the colors of the buildings do not help in diversifying the sad palette of grey and brown. Instead, they play a role in painting what could have been a great city but now just feels like a rusty, spacious prison. They are blocky, repugnant and staunch. The ones built in 1950s, during Mao Zedong’s China, are worse – they are all painted in a single shade of murky grey. Just imagine the communist China back then: closed, gloomy, saddening, and grey.
Claustrophobia. Shriveling. Nauseous. My mind swirls and my internal organs react to this ambiance in the vilest of ways. I feel drained of energy and expectant on breaking out of these walls and onto fresher pastures of anything that is not Beijing.
I cannot wait to get out. I can’t take it any longer. My lungs contract, dust settles, and I can’t breathe – I need escape.